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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Travis and Beauregard found enough gold in two hours to buy a new Hummer and an abortion for Beulah May (that’s a secret!)Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I really need some help from you cuz I know...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
One English lad remarked….”I thought the Pope’s ring smelled funny, but I kissed it anyway. Darn thing tasted like a diaper.”Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I hear tell that the head of the Catlick...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Actually, my advice to Gobber should be to stick it out and wait in the freezer for about 75 years since the wait might be worth it!Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I was sitting in the barber shop,...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Actually, you could be this person who referred to himself as CJ but thought he was a woman with big tits. I guess it was his turn that week to wear the falsies and his buddy Skoob’s turn to be Rover...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Since you were brave enough to enclose a photo, I guess I have to say…not only do you ask stupid questions, you look stupid as well.Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I know they got Spray and Wash and...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My husband has a heart attack and the doctor says that he has to cut back on red meat. Does this mean that he should cook his steaks well done instead of medium rare?...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
“Just fer asking such a lame question we have an official TPT hat just fer yew!”Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I got me a question on that disease called “Chicken Pox.” Do you get it from: touching...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Rep. Nancy Pelosi says that she thinks Picasso painted her nose too big in her portrait “Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, Our teacher has been makin’ us look at all kinds of paintings and pictures and...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Rule#1…Don’t smoke when you have the fartsDear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My girlfriend has got this fantasy of putting on one of them whipped cream bikinis and having me lick it off of her. It...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
The letter ‘Y’ is for Yosemite Falls….Also, Throckmorton claims to have eaten down at the ‘Y’ several times….I guess he means at the snatch bar located by the main entrance.Dear Throckmorton P....
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
“Hello! Yes, this is the Johnson residence…No, I’m not hanging out and no, I can’t come out to play..Yes, I’m a real swell guy…Goodbye!”Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, When someone asks you “how’s it...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong -un has been reported to have farted a turd out of his diaper further than any of his missles can travel…Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I understand that the latest dictator...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
This idiot ( Mark Lowton) sued a honey manufacturer.After a bout of drinking he inadvertently spilled a cup of honey on his crotch and then decided to lay out on a blanket on his lawn. Two hours later...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Obama the Dictator….Hey! It’s in his genes. He comes from a continent that has a long history of tin-horn dictators and murdering despots…What do you expect?Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, The...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, We was playing scrabble the other night and I got a bunch of letters and could have spelled out two different words. Did you know that “vagina” and “viagra” pretty...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Watch out Gomer, cute little Honey Boo Boo wants to wipe her booger in your hair!Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I was watching this commercial for this show the other night called Honey Boo Boo. I...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Trots, runs, or simply ‘the hot shits’…In Viet Nam someone still had to stir and burn it.Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, When you get a case of the trots or the Hershey squirts, some people call it a...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Why, the little woman looks fine with us! Maybe you need to give it one more chance….It might have been a bad case of gas!Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I think my girlfriend has been lying to me....
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Maria Rivera said a real nice old guy in Las Cruces, New Mexico paid for her implants and made sure the job was done right by checking them real carefully afterward!…Maria loves America now!Dear...
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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Speaking of this here ‘marriage equality’ stuff, now I’ve heard of ‘gun equality’, but do you think that gay dudes have to register with the government if their barrels come up too short?Dear...
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